Friday, March 03, 2006

clear out toxic people

Good company and good discourse are the sinews of virtue.
Izaak Walton

Interesting article on page 78 of FITYOGA regarding Starting Over -- clearing closets, doing an emotional detox and cleansing.

Just as positive support helps us feel more grounded, we also encounter more negative peopel in our lives. We cannot control the families we are born into, our classmates, our colleagues, exposure to the media, or our overall environment. However, we can choose our friends and how we relate to and proces our external environment.

Just sharing DNA or a long history with someone doesn't necessarily mean he or she should be a part of our inner circle. Toxic people in our lives do us more harm than the dust under our bed. People who drain us, treat us poorly, reinforce insecurities, or encourage our bad habits clutter our lives with toxic energy.

Think about if there is anyone in your life who would fit into one or more of the following categories:

  • You always feel crummy after you talk to them.
  • They are really hard on you or they judge you harshly.
  • You feel OBLIGATED to talk to/hang out with them -- and guilty if you don't.
  • You never know where you stand or walk on eggshells around them.
  • They are very negative, depressed and/or do not take care of themselves.
  • They expect a lot out of you and expect you to behave a certain way.
  • You find there is not much room for YOU (your interests, your opinions, your emotions or feelings about them or something that is important to you, etc.)
  • You are bored, uninspired, stressed out, or unhappy in the relationship with them.
If there's anyone in your life who fits into the categories above, on some level you probably already know your relationship needs some tweaking. Fears about shifting your relationship may emerge and keep you from doing it.

Is it time for a spring-time break-up or at the very least, a serious heart-to-heart?

From experience, be careful what the heart-to-heart may bring up. Being honest with someone who lacks personal responsibility and emotional stability could result in some dangerous territory. You haven't seen cruel until you've seen someone literally attack you from all sides holding nothing back and even using God to validate their wrongness.

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