Calee Anastasi!

Okay, that isn't exactly the Greek spelling but I have to put it somewhere so I can remember to say it tomorrow night as I get ready to attend my seventh Greek Easter service. The fact that Easter -- Orthodox or Western -- is even here completely puts me back. Wasn't it just last year the family was here sitting with Trish in the backyard, bringing her gifts and holding her hand. I have so many pictures but they've just been too difficult to really look at and enjoy. We are approaching the one year anniversary since her death. I look at things so differently and I'm sure that contributes to the rapid time warp I seem to be in with Mr. Wonderful. Last year, we were traveling to Jax every weekend, wondering what was to happen and NOW, we're living in a new home and visiting his dad's house without her here. I visited the cemetery last week and still, I stand there in total disbelief. How can she be gone? How is that possible? There's still so much of her everywhere that I can't believe she's really not going to walk through that door any minute to greet me with her special way that she always did. The acceptance of her passing feels wrong and in my heart, it's almost a lack of Faith but in my head, I know that it is through Faith that I need to move forward knowing that we'lll meet again. This time of year, I believe, will always take me back. I miss her and wish I could sit and hold her hand and let her know that all will be okay.